Recommendation of the Month

Nigel Evan Denis!

2007-07-01T15:51:00.000+01:00

Wow this dude is a true digital artist - He produces this awe inspiring style by layering photography and detailed graphic illustration and enhancing with subtle photoshop effects.
What a legend.
For best results try it yourself!

Well worth a click:
http://www.electricheat.org/

and.... GO!

2007-06-01T15:35:00.000+01:00

OK, we're back in action! Hopefully your quality of life hasn't suffered too much since we've been gone. Right lets get back to it so... This month's recommendation is.......

Picasa!

2007-06-01T15:23:00.000+01:00

Picasa is a photo gallery program for your computer. It was originally made in the 80s and was always a bit dodge until Google the legends bought it a few years back and completely revamped it. Now it does kind of what iTunes does for your music - Organises your photos into easily viewable albums. It moves slickly and seamlessly from one to the next and even lets you touch up and add effects to photos as you view them - It's very slick. For best results buy an external hard drive from komplett.ie (they're Irish and very cheap) and use that instead of clogging up your computer with photos.

Here's the Picasa link:
picasa.google.com

On Hold...

2006-09-01T15:13:00.000+01:00

Jones is gone to live in Switzerland for a few months so all michaels activities are on hold until next summer. Unfortunately, that means you'll have to find a way to get by without recommendations until then!

Screwball Scramble!

2006-08-01T13:41:00.000+01:00

This little baby's an absolute classic! It's a kids game from the 80s. We dug it out of the attic a few weeks ago and there's been tiny metal balls flying around the house ever since! It's unbelievably difficult for a kids game and more often then not results in sweat, a lot of shouting, and hours of wasted time. For best results, accidentally lose the original metal ball and play with a old ball bearing you find somewhere around the house.

iSketch!

2006-05-01T13:39:00.000+01:00

It's Pictionary online! What more can I say?! Great to waste away those rainy Irish Summer afternoons. For best results come join the Retro Jones room. You might even find a Michael or two!
http://www.isketch.net

Samorost!

2006-04-01T13:38:00.000+01:00

Samorost is a delicate little flash game we stumbled across this month while investigating the depth of penetration of the Michaels' legacy. It is made by a Czech design duo at http://www.amanitadesign.com/ and has proven so popular that they have made a follow up : Samorost 2. For best results, don't bother looking at it if you are a little slow, a little impatient, or have a small / non-existent brain....

SAMOROST1:http://www.samorost2.net/samorost1/
SAMOROST2: http://www.samorost2.net

Last FM!

2006-03-01T13:38:00.000Z

Last FM is an online radio website which has tickled our fancy over the past month. It's kinda like a Bebo or MySpace but it's completely orientated towards Music - not mindless social drivel. The site installs a tiny plugin in your iTunes or media player and sends details of every track you play back to your LastFM profile. Then it finds people with similar tastes to you and makes them your neighbours. This lets you find new music to your exact taste and (if you absolutely can't do without the social drivel) new people who like the same stuff as you. For best results queue your favourite michales songs to play on loop when you go out to boost our ratings! Now that's thinkin like a Michaels fan!

Check it out: www.last.fm

By the way there's a little glitch in the radio that makes it possible to play free music from any band you like: Just type in a crap load of artists into the radio player (about 15) and instead of playing tracks like these artists the way it's supposed to (to avoid copyright bullshit) it actually just plays the artists you type in!

Frank Frazetta!

2006-02-01T13:37:00.000Z

This dude is an American fantasy artist who paints all sorts of crazy shit! For best results claim calmly that you painted that.

http://www.wadhome.org/frazetta/

An important word of caution:
Frank Frazetta's art occasionally depicts the human form devoid of coverings.

Long Distance Girlfriends!

2006-01-01T13:36:00.000Z

That's right! This month, it is our pleasure to recommend that everyone pick up a few long distance girlfriends. It's especially handy to queue your girlfriends' visits one after another so that you have a constant flow of sexual activity without the tediousness and commitment of an everyday relationship! For best results, attract girls from interesting countries that you would eventually like to visit - thus acquiring yourself and your travelling party free accommodation! Brilliant!

Orla & Pat!

2005-12-01T13:34:00.000Z

More specifically, theGENERAL's aunt & uncle!...... Despite the fact that you can't actually try them personally, we felt obligated this month to inform the general public how great they are. In one quick visit to their humble abode, you can accomplish so many life ambitions it's difficult to keep track. Anyone out there ever sat outside in a hot tub in Ireland at night? Well you SHOULD! It's arguably the best thing ever! For best results resist the urge to remove your aviators for the entire weekend (..see Jones left)

Pictionary!

2005-11-01T13:33:00.000Z

Its a family classic but this baby's still as fun as the day it was made. For best results draw every topic using only penises... (or is it peni?)

Melanie Safka!

2005-10-01T13:32:00.000+01:00

Ah she's deadly! Melanie was big back in the 60s & 70s and in the michaels not so humble opinion, is well worth a listen. Her style varies from unusual folk ballads to borderline insane odes to unusual objects. For best results check out Animal Crackers where she resigns herself to a life overweight to help save the starving children of the world.

Cheque!

2005-09-01T13:32:00.000+01:00

Black & white chequered patterns are recommended this month! Potential applications include walls and floors, clothes and shoes, chef's trousers, grand prix flags, chef's hats, car roofs, boxer shorts and umbrellas. For best, and in this case hypnotic results, cover your bedroom floor in large black & white tiles. Following this, build or carve large chess pieces of your favourite Michaels and play in the centre of the room! Lovely!

Steensel - Holland!

2005-08-01T13:31:00.000+01:00

Within this little town, 25 minutes from Eindhoven in Holland lies by far the greatest Motel known to man! Once in the door, the sky clears, complimentary mints are offered at every turn, and life generally just seems a lot more satisfying. At just €30 a night for bed and what can only be described as a breakfast feast, you can't go wrong. For best results don't share your bed with frisky homosexuals. It's good advice.

I ♥ Huckabees!

2005-07-01T13:30:00.000+01:00

This month the Michaels officially recommend that everyone rent I ♥ huckabees from your local video shop... or at least download it illegally on your neighbor's wireless broadband! If you've ever delved into the realms of complex existentialist theories and been left thinking: 'what a load of pretentious waffle', then this bad boy's for you! For best results, read up on existentialism before viewing! (It's a comedy by the way!)

http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/huckabees

A Dipper Cup!

2005-06-01T13:25:00.000+01:00

Wow! It's a whole new tea experience!
Directions:

Boil kettle
Leave for a good 30 seconds (waiting for lime scale to sink to the bottom)
Put a teabag in a goodly sized mug and fill slowly with water. (again to avoid lime scale)
Add milk straight away
Here's the important part.... grab a corner of the teabag between thumb and index finger and rapidly dip up and down several times. NO SPOONS! delish!
(Add sugar if you must)
For best results, use pyramid bags (they really work!)

Kings of Leon!

2005-05-01T13:24:00.000+01:00

Stones-esque rock n rollers. For best results get the Youth & Young Manhood album and listen to it excessively.

Worms!

2005-04-01T14:23:00.000+01:00

Worms World Party is this month's gem - Fantastically simple game that's gas craic alltogether. For best results Make a Michaels team!

Billy Connolly!

2005-03-01T13:22:00.000Z

Check out Billy's world tour of Australia where he travels the whole country seeing the sights. He's impressively enthusiastic about the things he likes and amusingly abusive about anything he dislikes! For best results watch all eight episodes in two days followed by 3 hours of stand up from around Britain, an entire show from Dublin and anything else you can get your hands on of his. That'l warm your cockles!

Marbles!

2005-02-01T13:21:00.000Z

The Michaels re-discovered this long lost game during a house party last month and as it turns out, it's actually pretty fun!
For best results, play on a large rug strewn atop 3-5 comatose michaels fans.

Galway!

2005-01-01T13:20:00.000Z

Four and a half hours away, but in Galway every day is a bank holiday! Be wary tho! - the mysterious architecture of the city makes it possible to walk 360 degrees around every shop at different times from different streets! You can easily spend three to four hours wandering, pondering why there are so many supermacs. Don't forget to check out the Big brass band in the Cuba club. For best results, ignore the jazz music and dancing couples around you in favour of badly adapted seventies front-man dance moves!

Alfred Hitchcock!

2004-12-01T13:20:00.000Z

...in general! In particular check out Rear Window and Vertigo. These slow build suspense bad boys'll keep ya entertained! By the way - if you're watchin Suspicion - you gotta have a look at the trailer for it in the special features - Genius! They just don't make em like they used to! For best results, rent as many as u can in one night and watch them back to back around a warm fire.

Maximum Snake!

2004-11-01T13:18:00.000Z

Oh yeah! Classic snake - Michaels style! Made by theGENERAL.
You can have a shot of it online here (80KB).
For best results download and play all day here (39KB)

The Da Vinci code!

2004-10-01T13:17:00.000+01:00

A mystery novel by Dan Brown based on Art history and secret codes! OOooooh! Jammed with interesting facts about the symbolism in renaissance art, impressively fabricating the greatest of all cover-ups in history and tying together a huge web of stories we've all heard & symbols we've all seen, this bad boy keeps ya readin from page 1. For best results, read to avoid having to look at the hundreds of depressing commuters on the DART.

The Da Vinci Code movie

The Enneagram!

2004-09-01T13:16:00.000+01:00

This unnervingly accurate personality breakdown has been developed over hundreds of years, outlining just nine distinct core personality types into one of which each of us can be categorised! Jacoby is a 3, theGENERAL is a 5 and Jones is a 6. For best results, go around wrecking your mates' heads telling them that their personality is based entirely on paranoia, fear or inadequacy.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Note: It is also quite predictable how you will react to the enneagram!..
If you are a 3: You will learn all you can about the enneagram and attempt to become the BEST POSSIBLE 3 THE WORLD HAS KNOWN!
If you are a 4: You will hate your number and realise how lame the world really thinks you are!
If you are a 5: You will find it interesting and be comforted in the fact that the world does in fact function as you have observed... then go into hiding for six months to analyse this new information
If you are a 6: You will immediately dissect the system pointing out all the holes in it and pulling at them relentlessly,until it all falls apart at your feet and you are left safe in the knowledge that you are correct....
..... but still a little uneasy.
If you are a 7: You probably haven't read this far and have already flicked to the games section, played each game for 10 seconds, then turned off the computer and gone bungee jumping.

(not too sure about the other numbers)

Voxengo Stereo Touch!

2004-08-01T13:15:00.000+01:00

We discovered this fabulous reverb effect while recording Peter's Hat for the upcoming album and now we just cant get enough of it. If you don't have home recording facilities or worse still: if you can't actually play an instrument, don't fret - you can achieve natural reverb by going into your bathroom and shouting loudly. For best results sing in the shower!

Simple Kid!

2004-07-01T22:35:00.000+01:00

3 lads from Cork with two guitars, a banjo and a harmonica. We checked em out at the Roskilde festival in Denmark this month and were very impressed! For best results see them when they've forgotten or lost half or all of their equipment.

Sky Roads!

2004-06-01T22:34:00.000+01:00

Following on our investigations of crappy old arcade games, Sky roads is this months recommendation. You can download the space racing game at www.dosgamesarchive.com For best results furiously smash your keyboard into pieces every time you crash.

3D Pong!

2004-05-01T22:26:00.000+01:00

Classic pong has been revamped! now you can play it in 3D! check out this ridiculously addictive remake at 2flashgames.com. For best results try the other shitty games first - then you'll be really impressed with this bad boy!

Bananna on Toast!

2004-04-01T23:21:00.000+01:00

theGENERAL officially recommends that everyone try banana on toast this month!
For best results toast brown wholegrain bread and spread with 2-5 inches of kerrygold butter (you can never have too much!) before mashing less than half a banana into each slice & adding honey to taste!

Fitzacarraldo!

2004-03-01T22:08:00.000Z

The FILM not the Frames album!
An insane 'Irishman' decides he wants to pull a steam boat over a mountain in Indian territory... nutcase
For best results, set the DVD player to dub the film into German and subtitle back into English.

Camomile Tea!

2004-02-01T22:03:00.000Z

This delicious discovery is a new Michaels favorite! For best results drink in place of regular tea after midnight so the caffeine won't keep you awake!

Easy Rider!

2004-01-01T21:35:00.000Z

Filmed without the need for a script...or for that matter, budget, Denis Hopper and his mates made this one in true Michaels fashion! For best results, talk right the way through about the really bad dialogue and what a gay pants Captain America is.

Kevin Bacon!

2003-12-01T21:27:00.000Z

Greatest actor of all time!
For best results check out his uncompromisingly dry style in Mystic River!